22/02/12 Depression, Blackhall Gaels & My Black Dog

WEDNESDAY, 22 FEBRUARY, 2012
I have writer’s block tonight or is it that my current uneventful life is leaving me fast running out of things to say? The thing is I actually had a good day today, I was up at 9:30am, the earliest I have risen in a long time. But I was a man on a mission, I had a doctor’s appointment, which went well and helped me get a few things sorted. I cannot discuss these things as they are currently private but I am hoping that if all goes well they will help me in certain ways in the near future. As I sit down to write a small bit tonight, I am reminded by Linda of the tragic Robert Enke. She is reading the book at the minute after I leant it to her. She loves it and we both feel like we knew the man personally. In case you do not know who Enke is or have not read my earlier blogs on him, he was a German international goalie, who played his club football for Hannover 96 and who was on the verge of the German World Cup squad until he tragically took his own life in late 2009. It shocked not only the people in football circles in Germany but the nation as a whole. Robert too suffered from depression and I can relate to him, while Linda can relate to both Robert and his wife as she is going through similar problems that come with having a partner with depression. To top it all off, they too had a poodle.When I read a book I generally get engrossed in that person’s life for that time and when I am finished, I usually put the book on the shelf and forget about it but having finished Robert’s book, I still think about him and how sad his passing was.Unfortunately Robert Enke could not talk to many people about his battle against depression, his team mates never knew, many of his friends never knew and the people of Germany never knew.Thus his death came as such a shock to so many people. This is one one of the main reasons I have started this blog, to talk about depression and to let people know I have it. So I thought I had nothing to talk about tonight but Linda reading the book has brought this subject to my attention again. I hope I didn’t bore you but I really recommend you read this book. An interest in soccer would be a help but not a necessity as it is more about Robert’s struggle with depression and unlike me he kept it to himself. He would write his thoughts into a mood diary every night before bed, to help empty his head, just as I am now. But my head is not full of much tonight, the good things that happened today, I am not worried about, any negative thoughts were emptied from my head during my six hour bender on FIFA 12. I really must cut back on that but when I am on it, it takes me away from this world and into an imaginary one. Take for instance over the past two days I was Chelsea boss, pretending Villas-Boas got sacked. I took over, got rid of all the players that have been there for years like mesers Drogba, Cole, Terry, Malouda and Essien to name but a few. No big earners anymore, was building a nice young team. I finished 3rd in my first season and lost in the FA cup quarter final so in the summer I cleared some more old dead wood and brought in a few more youngsters. I had made over two million pound available for future transfers from the clear out but a bad second season in which I finished 6th in the table, had no good cup run and was beaten in the last sixteen of the Champions League, saw me sacked. I guess the sacking of a manager so quickly is not confined to real life but also to its make believe PlayStation brother. I believe I could have made my Chelsea team into one of the greatest of all-time. Ahh well I will have to try with someone new tomorrow!! Nothing to report on the Kiwi front, when I do nothing, he does nothing, as he never leaves my side. He is a black dog I like having around though. Blackhall’s second team had that challenge game tonight, didn’t hear any reports back yet. I should have been there.

I have some links of Robert Enke in action if you want to see them.

Robert Enke :
This one is his top ten saves, He was a top quality goalie

This next one is nice but it is not about football it is about his life:

Robert Enke saves a shot in training

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